Mother's Day
>> Sunday, May 9, 2010
My Mom came to Beijing for Sam's baptism in 2008. In honor of her and her great trek, I've included a few pictures. 
The Temple of Heaven
Hanging out with the bird guys
The Bird's Nest in Beijing
A stone lion at the 17 arch bridge at the Summer Palace
Peking Duck for Thanksgiving dinner
Today is Mother's Day. Most Mother's Days find me in the congregation either fuming at the speakers for misogyny, grieving for lost children, or guiltily trying to think about anything but my failings as a mother. No kidding.
Three years ago, I had just lost twins at 15 weeks of pregnancy. Six months earlier I had lost another baby. These were hard-fought-for babies. Their loss brought unbelievable grief. The branch president looked at me and talked about those moms who couldn't have children. I had held it together o.k. until then, but that did me in. I tried to stifle my sobs until the end of sacrament meeting. I almost made it. I'm sure the people in back of me could see my heaving chest and just after the meeting ended I collapsed into a ball of tears. What a day!
The last year wasn't any better but at least I made it through sacrament meeting.
And can I just say that most Mother's Day talks are full of "should"s and "shouldn't"s? Even if the speaker is talking about their own mother, I can feel myself comparing my mothering skills to hers. It's always a FAIL.
I've actually tried to work out in my mind what kind of Mother's Day talk I would give, if ever asked. Probably talk about the divine nature of motherhood. Look at some scriptural examples of motherhood, try to talk about real mothers, just not glorify or try to put a rosy spin in it. Truthfully, I can't come up with anything different than what other people say--and I don't like those talks. That's probably why they don't ask me!
So, this morning I woke up fully knowing that it's Mother's Day. And, you know what? I didn't feel grief, or guilt, or frustration. I went to church and enjoyed (wait, did I say enjoyed?!) the talks even with a few "should"s and "shouldn't"s. I came home and remember that my family was going to give me gifts and got genuinely excited about it. I took a welcome nap and enjoyed a foot massage. All in all, it's been a great day. My first Mother's Day I've ever enjoyed. What a sweet time.
I also have to say that no Mother's Day would be complete without acknowledging my own mom. Here are some things I love about her:
1. She is a go-getter. If there's something that needs to be done, she'll figure a way to get it done. She figured out that with six kids, a little medical knowledge would be helpful. So, she started to read medical books. She could totally keep up with the doctors and has maybe even saved a life or two with her knowledge.
2. She's a reader. She taught me the magic of books. I remember our trips to the Ogden library. We would go and I remember having free reign of the place. She didn't limit us to the kids' section, either. We looked at all the books all over the library. We got to bring home as many books as we wanted. And then we got to do it all over again.
3. She is whip-smart. She knows so much stuff about the world we live in. And she has great taste in music and art and anything cultural. It's because of her that I love travel and the arts
4. She's a great Grandma for Sam. She goes out of her way to email Sam and keep in touch with him. He loves it when she shows him a new animal or sends him a book. He also has her sense of humor. He finds her a pure delight.
Maybe it's a product of age, this happy Mother's Day, but I hope it stays. I guess I don't expect perfection any more. I do some things really well and I still have a lot to learn. But being a Mom isn't about being perfect. It's about being me. I figure I can do that pretty well by now!
Hope all you moms have a great day!
Love you, Mom!
The Temple of Heaven
Hanging out with the bird guys
The Bird's Nest in Beijing
A stone lion at the 17 arch bridge at the Summer Palace
Peking Duck for Thanksgiving dinner
Today is Mother's Day. Most Mother's Days find me in the congregation either fuming at the speakers for misogyny, grieving for lost children, or guiltily trying to think about anything but my failings as a mother. No kidding.
Three years ago, I had just lost twins at 15 weeks of pregnancy. Six months earlier I had lost another baby. These were hard-fought-for babies. Their loss brought unbelievable grief. The branch president looked at me and talked about those moms who couldn't have children. I had held it together o.k. until then, but that did me in. I tried to stifle my sobs until the end of sacrament meeting. I almost made it. I'm sure the people in back of me could see my heaving chest and just after the meeting ended I collapsed into a ball of tears. What a day!
The last year wasn't any better but at least I made it through sacrament meeting.
And can I just say that most Mother's Day talks are full of "should"s and "shouldn't"s? Even if the speaker is talking about their own mother, I can feel myself comparing my mothering skills to hers. It's always a FAIL.
I've actually tried to work out in my mind what kind of Mother's Day talk I would give, if ever asked. Probably talk about the divine nature of motherhood. Look at some scriptural examples of motherhood, try to talk about real mothers, just not glorify or try to put a rosy spin in it. Truthfully, I can't come up with anything different than what other people say--and I don't like those talks. That's probably why they don't ask me!
So, this morning I woke up fully knowing that it's Mother's Day. And, you know what? I didn't feel grief, or guilt, or frustration. I went to church and enjoyed (wait, did I say enjoyed?!) the talks even with a few "should"s and "shouldn't"s. I came home and remember that my family was going to give me gifts and got genuinely excited about it. I took a welcome nap and enjoyed a foot massage. All in all, it's been a great day. My first Mother's Day I've ever enjoyed. What a sweet time.
I also have to say that no Mother's Day would be complete without acknowledging my own mom. Here are some things I love about her:
1. She is a go-getter. If there's something that needs to be done, she'll figure a way to get it done. She figured out that with six kids, a little medical knowledge would be helpful. So, she started to read medical books. She could totally keep up with the doctors and has maybe even saved a life or two with her knowledge.
2. She's a reader. She taught me the magic of books. I remember our trips to the Ogden library. We would go and I remember having free reign of the place. She didn't limit us to the kids' section, either. We looked at all the books all over the library. We got to bring home as many books as we wanted. And then we got to do it all over again.
3. She is whip-smart. She knows so much stuff about the world we live in. And she has great taste in music and art and anything cultural. It's because of her that I love travel and the arts
4. She's a great Grandma for Sam. She goes out of her way to email Sam and keep in touch with him. He loves it when she shows him a new animal or sends him a book. He also has her sense of humor. He finds her a pure delight.
Maybe it's a product of age, this happy Mother's Day, but I hope it stays. I guess I don't expect perfection any more. I do some things really well and I still have a lot to learn. But being a Mom isn't about being perfect. It's about being me. I figure I can do that pretty well by now!
Hope all you moms have a great day!
Love you, Mom!
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean about Mother's Day. In fact I don't think I know a woman who hasn't hated it at one time or another in variying degrees. I am so sad to think you have has such rough ones. Isn't it funny that men don't seem to have this same hang up about Father's Day? I am so glad this year was better, I hope it sticks too! My problem in recent years has been that somehow I find myself thinking my family is going to shower me with gratitude and tell me what a great job I am doing, in reality they are a normal group and while they do always recognize M-day I sometimes come out grumpy. This year that is not happening! Have you seen Stephanie Nielson's video? It is on my blog, back a few days if you haven't. It has made me try and focus on how fun and what a priviledge motherhood is, something your post made me do too. So Happy Mother's Day and thanks for being a great example!
Michelle, I loved Stephanie Nielson's video. It makes me remember what really matters.
A friend of mind posted this on her facebook status and I loved it:
" In his book "All Moms Go to Heaven," Dean Hughes declares that instead of giving mothers flowers in sacrament (Church) meeting, we should give out solid chocolate statues of the mythical Ideal Mother so we can all bite her head off.
Hope your day turned out fabulous! I have seen the delight that you take in your children and am certain they feel so loved.
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