Too Much Information?

>> Monday, June 21, 2010

I’m afraid that with my last blog post I was a little too graphic for some of my more gentle readers. Sorry about that.

Here’s my quandary. I want so much to be honest on this blog, but I don’t want to give too much information.

For example, I have a friend who recently went through a divorce. We were good friends with both her and her husband and it was difficult to watch. But I loved that she was genuine in her blog posts. She did not sugar-coat her pain, divulging her inner most feelings. Her posts were so true that I often found myself weeping after reading them. (It also doesn't hurt that she has supernatural writing skills.)

She didn’t give the gory details and I still have lots of love for her now ex-husband. But she did share her pain and her triumphs, too.

In contrast, I read some blogs and it doesn’t seem real. The family vacation. The new dresses for Easter. The perfect report card. I don't believe it. No one’s life is so cozy and perfect. I want to know what is really going on.

Everyone faces challenges and I think a bit of real-life grit never hurt anyone. The stories we remember are about challenges and how people face them. The real stuff of life is what touches me and spurs me on to better things. It's how we as humans connect to others. So, when I read a blog that doesn't really share much, I don't feel edified or enlightened. It’s just an update.

I guess that’s all well and good if that’s the goal. But I want something a little more. But how much do I share? Is it o.k. to post pictures of Sam with a messy house in the background? Do you really want to know about my self doubts and inner turmoil? I doubt you really want to know all the skeletons in my closet.

So, what's the balance? What do you think?

6 comments:

Steph Thomas June 21, 2010 at 12:01 PM  

I definitely agree with you. If feels fake when everything is just wonderful. I actually start questioning myself as a mother when I read my roommate's blog because she always says how wonderful her kids are, as I sit there reading and thinking, "I must be a bad mom, because I don't always think my kids are wonderful...what is wrong with me..." I definitely like reading real. I really enjoyed your last post about your inner thought and feeling about leaving China. I actually commented and something happened and it erased everything I said. Being frustrated, I didn't write anything again. I have a REALLY good idea which friend you are talking about. I love reading her blog as well.

C June 21, 2010 at 5:41 PM  

Steph, I actually did get your comment and responded, too.

Just to clarify about this post, I wasn't thinking about anyone from Bryan in my post. I think it's a general enough occurrence that it can apply to many Mormon mommy blogs. However, after thinking about it, it's not really a bad thing. It's just more of a record for them, not a place to blab their feelings. That's o.k., too.

Michelle June 22, 2010 at 4:38 PM  

I think you are just great! I worry about that too, only I am afraid I am not giving an accurate account of our life by not posted as much grit. Guess I just don't always take the time to record that, it isn't as much fun.

C June 24, 2010 at 11:15 AM  

Michelle, sitting here at 2 a.m., I am reminded that I wrote this post at about the same time in the morning just a few days ago. In some ways the lack of sleep makes my mind more clear, but in some ways it dulls my writing.

For the record, I think that a blog is a great tool that can be shaped to fit your goal. If you want grit, go ahead. If you don't want it--because, truly, it's not really so much fun--don't include it. It all depends on what you want.

Apparently my writing quality also depends on how much sleep I get.

The Doughracle June 27, 2010 at 7:11 AM  

I like realism with a positive spin :) The hard stuff is part of life too, and we learn so many valuable lessons from those experiences. I don't often post too much about tough things only because they're more personal, but I hope at least I'm true to myself and not making it seem like life is always hunky dory :) We all know life in China, for one, is anything but, unless you have an incredible ayi like yours :) that surely helps!

Chrysula Winegar July 20, 2010 at 3:57 PM  

My blog is mostly driven by my professional interests but there is a huge overlap between that and my family life given that I write about work life balance issues! However even there I feel compelled to keep it real, though certainly couched and coded.

I also have a husband who is very reluctant to have our private lives on the web. My story telling would be much more revelatory, but out of respect to him I keep a tight rein. It's hard, I am certainly a let it all out kinda gal.

As for supernatural writing skills, I find them right here too, at Carol's kitchen sink. :)

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